| Home Page
About the band
Coming gigs and gig reviews
Cheesegrater family
Party Hard (with physics students)
Tales from the cider bottle
Gig pics
Other bands
Cheesegrater shopping network
Songs
sweet and roo review
Guest Book Page
|
Welcome friend! You are about to enter the realm of excessive alcohol intake, from here on in anything can happen.......when the cold grip of alcohol takes hold!
This page is a place to air random and mostly un-interesting stories of drunken activity....if you have a tale to tell then e-mail me at deadgirlfriend@hotmail.com and you shall become one with the cheese!
first off to kick off this page i would like to give some well earnt recognition to Joe who drank over 2 litres of white lightning on April the 6th! He's only a little guy too! Respect!
Also recognition must go out to 2 people who we shall for now call Pea-sweet and Stubbs as we can obviously not release their real names for security reasons! These two low down dirty alcohol drinkers were responsible for locking some random bloke in a phone box in Norwich during one drunken trip to a party! That night god was smiling on us...ummm...i mean them! As they found the perfect stick almost immediately and managed to slip it into a locking position before the poor victim could turn around...hehe..he must have been in there for ages till someone came to let him out! Oh and plus on that very same night, while on a drunken search for a yoghurt to make hash yoghurts with they stumbled upon a tikka masala which they promptly added a new "special" ingredient to.....hash tikka masala is reccomended by cheesegrater!
This page would not complete without at least one reference to Ruperts tale, whereby he chose stealing some girls beer over getting head from her! This was such a respected story that we even wrote a song about it! Basically the story is that Rupert was at the Reading festival when some girl asked him to prove he was a man, she got him to hold her beer and then whipped down his trousers and was about to start doing her "thing" when Rupert made his decision and chose the beer instead.....forever proving that he is, indeed, a man!
There was also the night that one particular cheesegrater member took a trip to Norwich to go clubbing at Time night club! Nobody really knows what happens inside that club but the next morning the lone cheese awaoke in the middle of a basketball court miles away from the club and miles away from where he had been intending on staying that night!?!? many theorys have been put forward as to how he arrived at this location but none have been proven...memory loss is an evil thing!
And now for a tale which only you can have the final say on...was it worth it or not? This tale involves one boy who we shall call Mr Willows...no, no that is too obvious, we'll call him Rupert for now! Now Roo once while drunk chose to make out with another bloke so that 3 girls would all get off in front of him...was it worth it? or should we all call him gay occasionaly? You decide!
After a particularly alcohol driven party in Wortwell (where? exactly)during which stebbs got so badly antiqued he actually had almost an entire book written across his back and was found in the morning by Baconhead standing in the shower fully clothed attempting to turn it on(which Baconhead admirably helped him do)! Stebbs,Greg and armed nuns member Olly decided to take a leisurely strole into Harleston coz they had no choice, a trip which lasted some hours with the still pissed Greg actually falling asleep in the middle of the road at one stage still clutching his cider close to his chest! How we laughed as we ran away and left him there! till he woke up and shouted obscenitys at us that was!
But there was no drunken trip quite like the one that Roo, Stebbs and Sweetpea undertook one night after being misinformed at a party about how close the nearest town was they decided to make a trip there to get some more alcohol despite there being a more than adequate amount at the party! So with a bag full of beer and hearts full of hope they set off on a trek to find the holy Debenham! A Journey that was very much like stand-by-me but with pissed blokes and no dead body, although they did find a haunted house, a blair witch forest, a field full of what seemed like alien vegetables and many houses which refused to open their doors to the youngsters! Luckily after about 3 hours of walking or something stupid they managed to hitch hike back right to the parties front door via amazing luck after Roo bravely jumped in front of a passing car
One weekend in Harleston a new sport was invented by two lonesome pissheads, the sport is skipping and the pissheads we shall call A and B! This tale has fast become a classic as it was the origin of "skipping", a drunken sport whereby you must stay intoxicated all weekend and just go with the flow, usually involving spending large amounts of time in other peoples houses! It is also highly illegal in "skipping" to return home untill the weekend is over(thats about 4 o clock on sunday), plus plans must only be made within an hour of them being carried out.....if plans are made at all! Anyways back to the story....so this particular weekend actualy started quite calmly with a bit of a lads night in round a mates house for A and B, much drinking was done and in depth conversations about sex and guns before they departed to bed, in the morning B was meant to go to work but bunked and spent half the day with A playing playstation because they were to scared to leave the house! Eventually the move was made and a trip into Harleston took place with Stella being drunk on route! Upon arriving in Harleston a visit was made to Fletch's house where they found a band in mid practise, not wanting to impose the two skippers made bacon sarnies and then drunk stella and special brew while watching vids! eventually a plan to walk to Pullham was made and A and B departed on a journey with some other peeps tagging along, on the way a shopkeeper was called a fat bitch for IDing them and a local TV celebrity was met who signed their arms(still have no idea who it was though). After this point A's memory was lost but he was filled in in the morning.....after reaching a new height in pissedness due to tramps fave drink special brew, A managed to get banned from the local pub through falling into the sign outside, break into a mansions garden where he threw up after stumbling into a deer statue and fall head first into the road! Eventually both A and B had to retire to bed though, however, without more suitable accomodation around, a paper recylycling bin had to make do! The morning walk back to Harleston was a long one but was made more interesting by B filling A in on the previous nights activities! The morning was largely spent drinking special brew and sheltering in shop doorways and bus stations by the trampy twosome who were now both feeling pretty damn minging...and no amount of Lynx spraying could help! So it was back to Fletch's for a Frosty Jacks chugging contest and more drunken tom foolery, before the way was made home with B still pleasently pissed....THE END!
**SKIPPER NEWS**
A team of pro skippers is currently being formed for weekend fun with A and B leading the way...so if ya feel like joining and living a weekend like a tramp then let us know by signing the guestbook or something......the skipper team listing will be presented here at some point!
Late one friday night, outside Time nightclub in Norwich, a group of about 30 young townie clubbers ligned up for a photo before their night of fun was to begin. When suddenly out of nowhere appear two pissed blokes returning from a capdown gig, namely stebbs and milo, flying across the scene they were captured forever on film to the annoyance of the clubbers! A quick getaway ensued with Milo shouting insults at bouncers, mainly using the term faggot, and then the two piss heads dissapeared into the night....if anyone happens to see this pic in Time let us know!
A mystery of X-files level was experienced in the time following Bogeys party/gig...one young man left the park to travel to a safe place to sleep, about a half hour later he returned with no recollection of where he had been or how he had ended up back in the park, the only excuse offered was "I got lost". The next day, however, the memory returned and the mystery was solved, while leaving the park the subject had reached drunken sprinting speed(which as you all know is much faster than normal sprinting speed), due to his "state" and the poor quality of light he had failed to notice some of those bars that are meant to slow down cyclists in the middle of the path! striking the bars at full speed they caught him on his chest and the damage taken caused him to lose breathing and thus collapse in a basketball court where he was later found and taken back to the park.....another case solved agent Scully, now come back to bed and show me that little thing you do again.....
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
